..this is new.

And unexpected. She says Sam was throwing an after-preformance party at his house, and they were playing games. She was all crying because she didn't know any games and everybody was ignoring her. So, Jacob was the only one who noticed her. He hugged her and then they all watched this movie and they were all..cuddling on the couch. With parents sitting right next to them.

...she's one sneaky daring wild little girl.

Then, as Katy says, Jacob was swinging her on the tire swing. Does that bring back memories of 1st grade or what?!

lol. She knows she's corny and outdated.

But I love her anyways.

And as long as a guy makes her feel that way, well, she can go ahead and do her own thing. As long as she's happy, I'm happy.

You know what?? If I was bi, I'd be going out with her and Megan.

byebye.

ok first of all, do whatchya want. sounds like to me that you want a change and ok yeah thats fine. second of all, im all preppily and i dont give a damn. lol. no i just buy what i think is cute and if other peoples dont then they can just turn their head or something. lol. third of all, i can play Naked on the guitar and i am so proud of myself!! lol.

oh yeah! my dad says hes gonna hook my puter up to the internet so we can do that dollie site. wheeeee we're gonna be famous!!

But I don't want to feel this immense amount of guilt ebbing away at me.

She loathes the fact that I love Andrew. But it's time that she got over it. I may not be resonable, but I have reasons to have him in my life.

I never really was that worried. =D

Or so I think.

"remeber what it said in my diary? isn't that kinda true?"

yes, it is. i am both unloyal and not caring towards you and I HATE MYSELF FOR IT.

you fucking deserve more.

you are so different than every other one of my friends, and when i get sick of talkin to the same people, i go to you.

you make me laugh in different ways.

you just different.

you stand out.

and if you went out of my life then there would always be something missing.. i wouldnt feel full.

you were the first good thing about having my transition between elementary and middle school.

i want it to stay that way.

i didn't see katy at all today.

i bet she saw me, though, and she was hating me from a far.

and i deserve every cuss word that spill out of her mouth.

shes online but she feels so far away from me. we occasionally wave and smile but theres still that cold look in her eyes like she's never going to forget how i treated her.

and it really isn't all my fault.

but it isn't hers, either.

im beggining to think that it never was really a fault at all.

that shes going on about things that i've neglected when there's nothing.

i guess im only saying this because i dont want it to be my fault,

but if there had to be someone to blame, it would have to be me.

It is oh so awesome.

Oh yes and Janet and Katy were at the mall with me and we had some fun times. Yes, very fun times.

my || love